you have got to be kidding me...

Last night I found my husband's "list"...you know the list that you probably keep in your head and don't dare write down for fear of someone finding it?? It pissed me off!! Number one, why in the heck does he have the list IN our house where I could potentially run across it?? And number two, there are more people on the list than he told me about.  I guess I should be happy that my name is the last one on there, but I don't care about that.  What I care about is the fact that it exists.  Seriously, I don't think he would be happy if I were to write my list down and he stumbled across it. The thing is, it is written down in the back of an ADDRESS book...HELLO STUPID, you don't think I am ever going to open that thing??? I find it weird that he keeps the list to begin with and I would have thought that since we got married it should have been shredded or burned so that I would never have to see it and wonder why the **** it is still around.  It makes me wonder if it is still around so that he can have fond memories?? I have had to accept the fact that he has most of his exes on his friend's list on myspace and facebook (urgh) and he has most of their phone numbers in his cell phone still...NOW THIS!!!

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My husband asked me last night why I get so mad so fast and seemingly easily. I had no answer, I honestly don't know why. Some things I could care less about and then BAM something else happens and I go off. I guess I might have anger control issues, but I don't really think that I do, I let so many things go on over and over without saying a word when it really grates on my nerves. And if I have to hear about how he works so hard while I do nothing one more time I will probably explode!! I am sorry that I can not find a job, I am trying. I have been trying. How about appreciating the things I do at home for you and the kids? I know that he does a lot for our family and I appreciate it and show him that he is appreciated, is it that hard to do the same for me? He makes me feel worthless. It is not a feeling that I am fond of, it makes me super sad. Some days I don't even want to get out of bed. :(