Visitation

Today was hard...I went to the funeral home for visitation for a dear sweet friend who passed away this week in a motorcycle accident.  I HATE despise abhorr loathe  open casket funerals.  I don't want anyone to see me once I am dead.  I don't want my children to have to go through that.  No one looks like themselves.  It makes it so much harder for me to go to a funeral when I know it will be open casket.

  It seems like I have been surrounded by death since I was 15 years old.  There was even a time when I thought that I was so used to it that it didn't bother me any more.  I was wrong.  It hurts.  It hurts even more when my daddy, who never cries, is standing beside me holding my hand and bawling his eyes out.  I know that God has a reason, it is just really hard to understand what his reasoning is...there are so many bad people still here living and continuing to do bad things.  I guess all I can do is pray for comfort for her family and trust that one day we will meet again.

RIP Brandy "Sue" Coker-Brown

BILLY...

the Exterminator!! I think that I live close enough that I could totally become a creeper and stake out his house. lol. I don't know that my husband would approve, nor would Billy's wife but I think I could take her.   I am not entirely sure what it is about Billy Bretherton, but I will admit I have got something of a crush.  I have been watching the marathon of Billy the Exterminator on A&E today and have even watched some episodes I had already seen.  Thankfully I shared my little friend with my best friend and now we can be creepers together. LMBO.  True she lives further away and can't actually go with me if I decide that I would like to go to jail for stalking, but at least she can share bask in the wonderfulness of exterminating on television.  Funniest thing to me is that I don't really like "reality" shows and I think that this is classified as one. I wonder what my husband would think if I were to call VexCon and see if they can take care of my pest problem...problem is I need to find a pest first.   Hahaha. Well, I have to go now...I can hear Billy calling from the other room.

I am changing my name!!!

That is it!! I am changing my name to Mamie...you know the old servant on Gone with the Wind??? I figure it is appropriate since I keep being treated like the house servant...hell that is putting it mildly.  My kids are so freaking lazy it is pathetic....they lay around in the a/c watching tv, texting, and eating all the food.  They literally move from one couch to the other if someone "gets in their way", ie..over the weekend I was cleaning the floors in the living room so my 14 yr old turned the tv up louder and moved from one couch to the other because I got in front of the tv!! Did she offer to help me out?? NO!! The thought probably never even crosses her mind.  I have done my last load of laundry for that little freeloader!  I did her laundry and folded it and said all you have to do is hang the other stuff...it sat there until she wore all of it again!! I am fed up with all the laziness.  I was not allowed to just lay around.  I had chores and they darn well better get done without me having to be told to do them. 

Another thing, when I cook supper and call everyone to the table I do NOT want to hear I will be there when my show goes off.  Um no, come and eat it now.  This is not an all you can eat buffet, you don't get to come and go as you please.  Oh and it would be nice if you could at least rinse your plate, I won't dare go so far as to say wash some dishes...don't want to mess up your texting finger!!  Sometimes I hate the cell phone.  It is permanently affixed to her hand and earlier she thought I was trying to get her phone and freaked the hell out and snatched it back like I had tried to steal a kidney.  I forsee big bad trouble on the horizon and it is not going to go down in a way that she is going to like!!

Okay I am done....p.s...I love my kids, just don't like being treated like crap...where did they get this sense of entitlement? Like everything is owed to them??

now I remember

 I actually remembered to go to the track for my running "program".  I was even early. Go me!  There were about 20 other people there.  Some of them I knew, some of them actually spoke to me, and some of them tried to act like I didn't exist. Haha.  It may have something to do with the fact that I was wearing one of my husband's old t-shirts, it is extra comfy, has the sleeves cut out of it, and is a band t-shirt..oh, did I mention the band's name is Earth Orgy? lol. The looks I got were awesome, it was almost as if I showed up wearing nothing but a smile.  I did not do much smiling while I was at the track.  Not only were there people there acting like I was the devil or didn't exist, but there were teenagers there who pretty much were embarassed by all of the "old" fat adults.  We did some stretches before we started running.  Stretches that make me feel and look like a flailing elephant.  I remember why I don't run, not because I can't, but simply because I HATE running....I remembered about three laps in.  The thing is I can't quit, then I would be a quitter plus I paid money to do this crap! Maybe next time won't be as bad.  Oh and as a side note, my legs and buttocks were killing me by the time I got home, so maybe, just maybe, it will help me to lose my fatty status.

Epic Fail...

And so it begins...I lose.  My first day of my new running program and I FORGOT to go!! In my defense we got our pool set up and finally got to go swimming and I was so sooper stoked that time got away from me and oops I skipped first night of the program.  Lets hope I do better on the second night.

The journey begins...

well, actually I just wrote the check that pays for the journey, but it is essentially the same thing.  Starting next week I will be participating in a Couch to 5k program, hopefully it won't be as scary as it sounds.  I am not a runner, have never ran, and pretty much have always said, " The only way you will see me run is if someone or a snake is chasing me."  I don't even know if snakes chase people but that is neither here nor there.  I have decided that instead of complaining to my husband about the 30!! pounds I have gained in the last year and a half, I am going to do something about it.  I still say that I gained this weight from quitting smoking when we started dating and there are days that I have seriously contemplated smoking again just to see if I am right.  I am not ruling it out either.  I changed my eating habits, some days I barely even eat anything (yeah yeah I know it is bad for me) and I still don't lose weight.  OR I lose 5 lbs and gain back 6!!  It is really getting annoying.  I figure that a couple of things can happen with this running project...either I can lose some weight and get in great shape, I can stay a Fatty and people will laugh and call me names while I try to run, or I will die.  Hey, there are no guarantees...I am excited and scared at the same time.  I have found no one who will join the program with me, so I have no back up and no friend to chat with while there.  I am terrified that I am going to show up at the track the first night and there is going to be a group of super thin athletes in their super cute running clothes who are just waiting to point and laugh.  But they don't know that I have Robot Blood and I can take away all of their powers and give them to the Aliens....mwahahaha...at least that is what my friend Christopher told me, so what if he is only three, he thinks I am kinda cool.