Sunday, April 19, 2009

First time...

I don't really know why I am even doing this...okay that isn't true...I am trying this out because I tell him everything... Literally everything. Sometimes I get the feeling that he doesn't really want to know. Okay maybe that isn't fair, he doesn't know how to respond to the things I say at times. Mostly I just want him to listen, a response isn't always needed. But occasionally the silence says more than the responses that he thinks are ridiculous. He tries too hard at times and then there are times that it feels that he isn't trying at all. Why do relationships have to be so confusing?? I am perfectly content with our relationship. Every aspect of it. As a matter of fact, it is the BEST relationship I have ever been a part of...that being said...I am terrified!! There I said it..whew! I feel somewhat better. I told him this last night, his response was that I worry too much. Granted we get along famously, we rarely have a disagreement, and we are absolutely in love... AND we have only been together for a little over three months!! That is the major thing here...I am terrified because it hasn't been that long and yet it feels as if we have always been together and I don't mean that in the bad way. The thing that scares the pants off of me is how comfortable it has been since the beginning. What if it goes away? What if we are fooling ourselves?? How is it that I can be so completely in love with him and KNOW without a doubt that I love him so much more than I loved any of the men I married? He IS my everything....and so much more than I thought I ever deserved.

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