It has been a while old friend

So it seems that after I wrote about my blog being neglected I have really neglected it, lol.  At least this time it was for a good reason.  I have been back at work now for a little over 30 days.  It feels like I never left.  The only difference is now I am on graveyards.  I really love my shift.  I like not having the hassle of some of the things that occur on day shift.  The only downside I have seen so far is that I feel like I don't see much of my husband since he works rotating shifts. 

We started having problems with Drama Queen a couple months back...we found out that she was using her grandmother's (her dad's mom) house to have sex with her boyfriend.  I knew that she was getting to the age where I was going to start having to worry about her having sex, which is why I put her on the pill months ago, but I didn't know that she was going to be sneaky and a liar.  I am more upset about the fact that she basically used her grandmother to get something that she wanted that we didn't allow her to do at our house.  She has been "grounded" since we found out.  I took her phone away for about a week and she has not been allowed to stay the night at her grandmother's house since.  This weekend her grandmother took her to Waxahachie to her dad and step-mom's house to visit for Christmas.  Yesterday from her dad while I was sleeping after work informing me that Drama Queen is moving back in with them....during Christmas break!  I am not really sure what the heck is going on since the only thing I keep being told is that "we think it is for the best" but if that is what she wants then she can carry her dramatic, smart mouthed, bad attitude self back there and stay.  I love my child but I am not going to play the I am mad at you so I am moving game.  Once she moves back with her dad she is staying there...the end. I will not be a pawn in her childish games any longer.

In other news...It has nearly been a year since the dear hubby and I got married.  Wow!  How did he get so lucky? lol  No really, I consider myself to be very lucky.  I married a great guy.  Finally.

Neglected..

My poor blog is so neglected, it isn't that I don't have time to blog...I just don't have anything interesting to say.  I think that is very sad. 

Today I have a job interview at my previous place of employment.  It has been two years and 3 months since I have had a job.  I really really want to get this job.  I need it and want it.  It is not fair to my husband to be the only one bringing home the bacon.  I understand his frustration.  I am frustrated too.  I have been trying to get a job for all but three of the months I have not had one.  Hopefully today is the day!!

What just happened?!

I can't believe the phone call I just got!! My neighbor's wife just called and griped me out for talking to her husband.  I am a little confused as to why she thinks I am causing problems with her and her husband.  All I have done is speak to him when I see him and let him park his truck in our driveway so he could mow his yard! Oh and he brought a piece of mail over that got put in their box by accident.  Geez lady, you need to get your issues fixed! Pronto. Hey I know, why don't you drink another beer and call the cops when you and your husband get in a fight? Stupid people get on my nerves!!

No one said you have to like them.

URG!! I am so ready for it to be tomorrow....I know it is Monday, nothing special about it, except my kids will be at school.  I realize that some people may consider me a bad mother for saying this but I don't care, my kids are driving me insane!!  If I hear one more " he touched me" or " can I have" or " it isn't fair" I may scream.  I love my children, but right now, I don't like them very much.  I have found in reading other blogs and facebook status updates that some women never say a negative thing about their children and the things they do.  My question to them is this...What are you taking/smoking and can I have some please.

wait..tomorrow is Friday??

I have realized that it doesn't really matter to me if it is Friday or not...my days all run together.  The only thing different about Friday to me is the knowledge that my children will be home from school for the next two days.  How pathetic is that?  Hubby and I don't go out on weekends, we don't go out on weekdays for that matter.  I wonder if people in the "real world" understand the differences betweeen their lives and the lives of people who work or live with someone who works rotating shifts?  I never understood before Hubby and I started dating and it didn't really sink in until we moved in together.  There is a lot of me sleeping alone, him sleeping during the day, and no sleep at times.  It can get a little depressing at times. :( 

Okay enough whining.  I submitted a resume for a job at RRAD today.  Praying and crossing my fingers that I hear something back from them.  It would be so great to get this job, I would get to go shopping!  Woohoo!  Usually the only shopping I get to do is for children.  So not as much fun as shopping for me. lol.  Also this week I have made some more hair bows for Elmira.  I was right and she loved the first one, so I got on Ebay and bought some ribbon and clips to make more.  I also got some really cute ribbon at Hobby Lobby that was on sale for half price.  Yes, I am THAT bored at home.  And YES, I am going to put a picture of them on here because dammit I am proud of my hard work.  And I burnt the tip of my finger making bows today!!  It hurts.  Badly.  There is a freaking blister on the tip of my middle finger.  I hope that Elmira appreciates the pain I go through to make these silly things for her.

I did it all by myself!

I know people make hairbows all the time...but I did this one!  And yes, I am super stoked about it because I didn't know that I could actually be this handy. lol.  I can't wait until Elmira sees it this afternoon, she is going to LOVE it!

NOT Oprahs Book Club...

Last night was our first book club meeting. It was great.  I had a really good time and I am pretty sure that Kathy and Renae did as well.  The book was okay but not great.  We read We Were the Mulvaneys, which I mentioned in a previous post, I would give it 3 out of 5 stars if I were going to rate it.  I won't go into any details just in case someone stumbles across my pathetic blog and wants to read the book, but if you would like to read a review of the book you can check out Kathy's blog here.  She reads probably more than I do and has a lovely blog where she reviews what she has been reading.  I sometimes use her blog for ideas on what to read next. We got our book for next month, Kathy's pick, it is called Jacob's Ladder by Brian Keaney.  I am really glad that all it took was me saying we should start our own book club for this to come about.  I have always loved the idea of a book club and now I am in one!  Next month we will meet at my house, which will be very interesting. lol. With our three animals who are very nosey, and not sure yet if my kiddos will stay here confined to their rooms or if I will try and find someone to let them come over for a little while. 

It is after 5 o'clock....

I haven't gotten a phone call so I guess I didn't make the cut and I am still JOBLESS!  Now I have the sadz. :(

Exciting?...Perhaps.

In the last three weeks or so I have sent out resumes/applied online for 7 jobs.  Today I finally got called for an interview.  I was so excited that I finally got a call....and then I realized that I needed to shower (arm pits not smell so nice) and wash my hair (greasy ewww).   I had an hour to get myself showered and ready.  Talk about last minute notice!!  I wore some black gaucho pants and a black v-neck t-shirt with a hot pink tank under it for a layered look with hot pink low heeled sandals.  I had issues with my hair...because well, it is curlyish and I wear it straight and one hour is just really not long enough to do my hair much less the whole finding something to wear and putting on a little make up.  Jeez!!  I wound up wearing my hair in a pony tail with the front kinda poufed up with bobby pins to make it stay.  I should have taken a pic but I am lazy and took that crap off and took my hair down almost immediately after I got home.

Did I mention that the place I interviewed at is literally less than 5 minutes from my house?  That would be great.  The position I applied for is Receptionist...sounds easy and it is part time AND it will make hubby quit saying I need a job. lol.  I arrived 15 minutes early and went in....the interview lasted 15 minutes.  The man was nice, I answered his questions honestly and tried to remember to smile a lot. But I am not sure, I couldn't really read if he liked me or not.  He smiled a lot.  He even laughed at one point.  My fingers are crossed, he says I will know something by Wednesday.

Why don't children come with cliff notes???

Last night DQ (Drama Queen) and I were sitting in the living room (she was texting and I was crocheting) when some how the subject of dating came up.  She asked me wasn't I like 13 when I started dating her father?  I actually lol at this point and said No, we were boyfriend and girlfriend starting when I was 14 (almost 15) but that I was not allowed to date until I was 16.  I also informed her that her father was the ONLY boy that I dated while in highschool.  She actually didn't believe this but it is true.  So then she gets all huffy and says, "Great, I am screwed!".  At this point I turned to her and asked her did she think I was supposed to let her run the roads with every boy she likes?  She got up and went to bed.

The thing is she changes "boyfriends" more frequently than she showers.  That is only a slight exaggeration.  She has a list of 25 boys that were her "boyfriends" last school year!  25!!  Seriously?  She is only 14, I don't think that I am being an ogre about this, but she never let me tell her my rules on dating.  Hubby (her step father) and I have discussed it and we decided that while she is living under our roof she will not be running up and down the roads with every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes along.  I think that if she has a long term boyfriend I would let him come over and hang out and then maybe if he was genuinely a good kid I would let her go on a date. 

Apparently her step mother was letting boys come over all the time when she was living at her dad's house.  She also let her roam the neighborhood doing as she pleased.  But DQ also got caught sneaking out from a friend's house while under step mother's supervision, so I think it is safe to say that until DQ earns some trust I am well within my motherly rights to keep her under lock and key.  DQ still swears that she did nothing wrong when she snuck out even though her friend lost her virginity that night.  OMG!! We will see, Friday DQ has an appointment with my gyno-that is right, I am putting her on birth control, I know lots of people are against it...but guess what? I don't care.  I know my daughter, I know that given the chance she will have sex. So, as a GOOD mother I am taking responsibility and not turning a blind eye.  I do NOT want to be raising a grandchild...I am waaay too young to be a grandmother.  Besides, I was having sex when I was the same age as her...I was sneaking out with her father and going to his house to have sex.

Why oh why don't they pass out handbooks when you give birth? Or at least when they become teenagers? I don't want to be a mean mom, I want to be a good mom, why can't she see that?

My so called life...

Haven't put up a new blog lately

so....let's see what can I talk about today??  School starts soon which makes me uber happy Ecstatic!!  Finally I will not have to be with my children 24 hrs a day.  They were  ARE really starting to get on my nerves.  They are really excited to be going back to school too.  I can't believe that I am going to have a kid in high school, how depressing is that?!  Oh well...one step closer to her leaving my house, hahaha. We are going to Freshman Orientation in a couple hours to pick up her schedule. 

A couple of friends and I have started a book club which I am completely stoked about...even though I have never been in a book club I assume that because I love to read I will love book club.  They even let me pick the first book, We Were the Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates.  I have only read about 40 pages so far, but I have been wanting to read it for ages.  I hope that everyone likes it, I would hate to pick a book that everyone cringes about.

Tonight we have a double header in Co-ed softball, these will be some of our last games.  Even though it is still Africa hot here I will miss softball when it is over and I hope that we will be able to have a team again next year.  We really need to win both of our games so that we can be the league winners or at least second place.  Ultimately though as long as everyone is having fun that is all that matters.

I finally took all of Encyclopedia Boy's wrestlers away.  He got up in the middle of the night and ate nearly a whole gallon of MY banana pudding ice cream!!  Hubby made him sign a contract saying that if we caught him stealing again that he is shaving his head.  This was the second incident in two weeks, he had stolen candy from his Nana when he stayed the weekend over there.  She had taken him to the movies, shopping, and bought him several books in the series he is reading, but she took the books away when she caught him stealing.  I just don't know what we are going to do with that boy!  I told him that being a thief is a dangerous occupation...

Has anyone found the DeLorian...I need it

Is there any way to fast forward past the mouthy, know everything teenage DRAMA QUEEN years??  I am seriously so tired of it this week.  Not that I like it any other week, but this week it is really getting to me.  I don't know if it is because "my special visitor" just left or if it is because we were nice enough to allow a teenager we don't know come stay for a week and Drama Queen is unappreciative.  Probably a combination of the two.

Drama Queen has started trying to talk down to me, as if I am the child and she is the adult.  She questions every move I make, including who I am on the phone with.  Of course when I mention this to her the response is always the same, "What did I do?", said in a whining voice obviously. 

Her friend seems to be a lovely girl....when she isn't being told what to do by my daughter.  It is ridiculous really.  I know that I was not a "good" kid by any means but Cheese and Rice I was no where near this level.  Drama Queen never does anything wrong in her eyes, she is disrespectful, rude, mean to her siblings, and thinks that the world revolves around her.  I try and give her a little bit of leeway since she just moved in with me after living with her step mother (her dad is out of the country for the second time) but there is only so much I can take.

I am at a loss...someone help me please or I may have to take up drinking.

I didn't do it...

How come that no matter if you know already who did something if you ask your children their response is "I didn't do it"?  I am so sick of hearing it really....if I could find this Mr I didn't do it, I would so kick his little ass! 

Encyclopedia Boy has a problem with getting up in the middle of the night or SOOPER early in the morning and eating things. (ie. Fluff, gum, candy, granola bars, etc.)  We can't keep snack foods because you can guarantee that he will get into it while everyone else is sleeping.  It isn't a matter of not wanting him to have the food, it is the fact that he sneaks it and then lies about it!!  He has been doing this since he was about 2, it started with hot chocolate mix with marshmallows and has moved on to things like the frosting I made in advance for Elmira's birthday party a couple weeks ago.

I just can't figure out what the deal is....we offer him food, I know that sounds ridiculous but he takes meds that make him not have an appetite on top of already being a picky eater.  It doesn't matter if I cook something that he loves and has eaten time and time again, he will refuse and then I find something he has eaten in the middle of the night.

Hubby and I are at our wits end as to what to do as punishment since nothing seems to work.  We have tried time outs, spanking, taking away television privileges, and removal of his playstation.  Still he continues!  Three days ago I noticed that an almost full Fluff container was mysteriously empty (and back on the shelf) and asked the kiddos who ate it...they all had the same response, "I didn't do it."  I told them that no one could watch tv until someone confessed......three days later and Encyclopedia Boy finally fesses up and has no reason as to why he thinks that this is acceptable behavior.

Well, now he has no playstation forever.... hubby says he is done with being nice and now it is time to start taking a wrestling action figure (Encyclopedia Boy collects these) every time we catch him "stealing" food.  I don't know that it is going to work, when I told him that the playstation was now mine he shrugged and went and unplugged it himself.  Also, he told me that since hubby is selling his old GI Joes on Ebay that maybe we could make some money off of the wrestlers!!  AARRGGHH! 

This week in review...

Hooray!! My 8 yr old finally decided that she is big enough to take the training wheels off her bike!!  And you will notice that my hubby is putting the bunk beds together and I am taking pictures because he can do it all by himself...lol.

Girl parts = Stupidity

I was completely unaware of this until today, when I was informed by my husband.  I must say I am a little disappointed, I never really classified myself in either of those departments before today.  But alas, all I am good for is cleaning, cooking, oil changing, and birthing babies...That is right, I change the oil, as in ME not him.
We are giving our girls' bedroom a makeover, so we bought bunk beds. Fun right?  I think it is going to wind up being a pain in the arse but we shall see.  Anywho, the place we bought the bunk beds had to order them. They called today to say that the ordering manager made a mix up and they would be receiving bunk beds, but that it wasn't what we had ordered (twin/full) that it was better (twin/futon/full) and that if we wanted this "wrong" set of beds it would cost us no extra money.  Okay cool, I talked it over with the hubby and the girls and everyone was okay with the "wrong" beds.  I called the guy back and let him know that we would take the beds anyway and he said that he would call me in the afternoon when they got there so I could come get them.  Since hubby had worked all night and then stayed up to take the car to get new tires (I met him there after kid dr appt and traded cars so he could go home) I said I would go get the beds and he could stay home sleeping.

I went and got the beds.  Dude loaded them in the Jimmy.  I drove carefully home as to not lose them out the back window (it wouldn't close) and left them in the truck.  The reason I left them in the truck is because I was told by hubby in that under no circumstances was I to try and get the beds out and put them together because he "didn't want them messed up."  Excuse me??  I am old enough to know how to read the directions and put anything together.

Hubby got up, went and saw the beds in the back of the truck and started yelling at me about how incompetent people are and that I should have just let him take care of going to get them because dude put the box in the wrong way and now it is stuck on the spare tire rack and blah blah blah blah blah!! Seriously?? I am trying to help you!! He complains about not getting help, then when I try to help I can't do it right?? I calmly walked away and said "I am Done!"  I then proceeded to hang up the laundry.  And when he came in to "help" I told him not to bother that apparently it is the only thing I know how to do.

Stuff Shanel Says...

Sundays are usually pretty uneventful around here so I have been kicking around the idea of having my blog dedicated to my bestest fran once a week or so...depending on how much useful material I get from her.  LOL. 

First a little back story.  Shanel is my bestest fran. :) I love her dearly, but she has lead a somewhat sheltered life I guess being that she is from suburbia (Spanaway/Tacoma area of WA).  She recently moved with her husband, four children (two girls 8 &10 and two boys 5 & 3), and three dogs to Missouri.  Which she lovingly refers to as "the armpit of hell".  Talk about culture shock!!  I have to laugh at her because frankly some of the questions she has asked and the things I have heard her say to her children are priceless.  I am pretty sure that she could write a book, or maybe even a television show.  Anyway, on with the good stuff... I am not going to embellish and will do very little explaining of what things were in reference to because I think that if I do it will take away from the magic. LOL.  I will however edit most some of the potty mouth.

1. "Chris, get down, you are going to get a splinter in your butthole!"

2. "Jack, don't hit your brother with a hammer"...here I am going to point out that last year Jack did hit his brother with a shovel, which required a trip to the emergency room.

3. "Why are you wearing your sisters' underwear?"

4. said by Chris "Damn, I'm good"...this is currently at the top of my list because who doesn't love a three year old with good understanding of where to use these words?

5. "What are those brown beetle type bugs, you know the ones that just keep flying into things repeatedly?"

6. "I googled the sound I keep hearing, turns out it is cicadas."

7. " There is some kind of evil looking bug on the porch railing staring at me, I am pretty sure it is here to eat my soul"

this is the bug. lol yes she took a picture and sent it to me

Well, I hope that you have enjoyed this as much as I have.  I would now like to take the opportunity to point out that Chris is like one of my heroes...he thinks that I have Robot blood and that is just pretty darn awesome.  Maybe I can be like him when I grow up.  Oh, and Shanel if you read this... I love you fran :)

new and improved...

I got my very own blog design!! I love it so much!  I know that no one really reads this thing, but that is okay, I like it and I am all that matters. LOL.   I found Brittany (Peachy Keen Designs) through another friend's blog, I liked her design and since Brittany was offering free services I thought what the heck I will try too.  I am so glad I did.  She was so easy to work with and I approved everything before it was finalized.  Good thing that Brittany is so smart because I am not tech savvy, but she didn't make me feel like a dummy. :)  She asked me questions to get a feel for what I wanted and liked and wahlah (sp? is that even a word?) this is the finished produck (that I misspelled and thought it was kinda cool that way so I left it haha). 

On a random note...Brittany has actually been to Texarkana!!  This is like for sure the most random and sooper cool thing to me because usually unless you live here you have no clue where the heck Texarkana or Redwater is much less that they even exist!  So for someone to say that they actually had been here before and got married here and know people here in my lil ol hometown is exciting.  Okay I have rambled on long enough, I am going to go try and read a little bit.  On that note if you liked Pride and Prejudice (the book) I suggest Mr Darcy's Daughter's..it is a continuation of sorts...it is by Elizabeth Aston and there are actually two other books in the series, they are quite lovely.

I'm Not quite dead yet...

but I may smell like it, look like it and definitely feel like it...but I promise I am still breathing. Barely. Very loudly and heavily.  Ohmygoodness!  Softball is kicking my butt!! I mean, I still love it, but wow I didn't realize just how out of shape I am.  Or maybe I did but now reality is setting in...I knew that I had gained weight, I attributed that to the fact that I quit smoking. 

We had another double header last night.  We lost the first game and won the second. Woohoo!  I was sweating so profusely that it literally looked like I had been caught outside in the rain.  I don't like to sweat that much. boo.  Oh, and have I mentioned that it is like sweltering hot here??  I am talking Africa HOT!  The heat + me trying to run = disasterous.  It is seriously such a joke that the other team was calling out which ever base I was going to as the "easy out".  Sadness. But it is okay because when I did get on base I actually got ALL the way around and scored!! WooHoo! Go me! lol.  Yeah and I hate running with a passion...my knee is only slightly hurting today after an unfortunate clumsy almost fall. hehe. I rolled my ankle going after a ball and somehow twisted my knee. Ouch.

All in all it was good...no one had to drag my carcass off the field, no one had to call an ambulance, my husband still smelled worse than me (barely), and we won the last game (so what if it was only by one point).

Exercise

I found my preferred method....I already knew it, I just had lost it for about 15 years or so lol.  Softball!! We have been playing coed church league softball.  Notice the "we", hubby had been playing church league for years and they FINALLY got a coed team!! Yay!  I love softball!!  Saturday we played in a benefit tournament and wound up playing 4 games back to back in the pouring rain.  It was great.  I was so sore I was hobbling around like an old lady for 3 days...just in time for our league to start and for us to play a double header on Tuesday night.  Thankfully I am not sore any longer...because tonight we have another double header!  I have only had some minor injuries and have found that I can still play fairly well.  I have never been a super star but I can hit and I can catch and I don't look like a complete idiot out there so I guess that is all that matters.  Well, that and the fact that I am having tons of fun despite the soreness, injuries, and the fact that it is almost unbearably hot outside.  Maybe since I will stick with this unlike the running idea, I can lose some of the weight I want gone.  Oh and as of right now my OBP (on base percentage for you non baseball people) is 600!! yay me!!

Some people's kids!!

Today we went to town to tackle my hubby's "list", this is a list of things he writes down from sales papers or things he needs to complete projects he is doing.  We started our trip at a store that he saw an ad for bunk beds that we are needing to get for the girls' room...what he did not read on the ad was that the store is closed on Tuesdays!! Of course then he is pissed off that we drove all the way across town for no reason, some how this becomes my fault.  I didn't look at the ad and it isn't a store that I have ever been to so I am not really sure why I should have known this.  Oh well.  Next we go to Ace to look at some folding chairs that he saw advertised for like 5 bucks.  We walked around the whole store, four people asked if we needed help, we did not find the chairs.  On the way out of the store hubby finally asks someone and we are told that the chairs are sold out and they are not giving rain checks because they went off sale on Friday.  As we are walking away hubby hears the man tell one of the other employees that they have to watch what they put out for display because they are right next door to the Dollar General and "you know what kind of people shop there."  So, next we went to the Dollar General. lol. Apparently I am that kind of people.  They always usually sometimes have cool stuff in there and it is really cheap (just like my Jew husband).  We got a couple packs of last year's baseball cards which my husband will turn around and sell most of on Ebay and make back the money we spent, it is a win win for me.  The last place on our big adventure was Target, we went there with the intentions of buying cat food which was supposed to be on sale and to look at bedding for the girls' room because that was also supposed to be on sale.  We left with a t shirt for the 8 year old (1.98), a bag of cat food (which was not cheaper than we usually get), and pack of baseball cards.  When we got back to the truck, we left the windows down because it is Africa hot down here, someone had thrown their McDonalds trash in our windows!!! Now let me first say that this is a Jimmy, not a truck with a bed.  They threw it IN THE WINDOW!! What kind of person does that?  Seriously!! I was so pissed, I was yelling (apparently loud enough that it alarmed the cart guy) and looking at the cars next to us to see if I saw any McDonald cups in the cupholders.  I really wish I could have caught the person who did this, but I guess it is a good thing that we didn't because my husband would be in jail right now.  I am still appalled at the thought though, I have been over the scenario in my head a dozen times.  There is NO good explanation, there was a trash can not 10 feet from our truck AND if you have ever been to Target then you know that they have trash cans right outside the door before you go inside.  How hard would it have been to carry it to one of them?? UGH!

Visitation

Today was hard...I went to the funeral home for visitation for a dear sweet friend who passed away this week in a motorcycle accident.  I HATE despise abhorr loathe  open casket funerals.  I don't want anyone to see me once I am dead.  I don't want my children to have to go through that.  No one looks like themselves.  It makes it so much harder for me to go to a funeral when I know it will be open casket.

  It seems like I have been surrounded by death since I was 15 years old.  There was even a time when I thought that I was so used to it that it didn't bother me any more.  I was wrong.  It hurts.  It hurts even more when my daddy, who never cries, is standing beside me holding my hand and bawling his eyes out.  I know that God has a reason, it is just really hard to understand what his reasoning is...there are so many bad people still here living and continuing to do bad things.  I guess all I can do is pray for comfort for her family and trust that one day we will meet again.

RIP Brandy "Sue" Coker-Brown

BILLY...

the Exterminator!! I think that I live close enough that I could totally become a creeper and stake out his house. lol. I don't know that my husband would approve, nor would Billy's wife but I think I could take her.   I am not entirely sure what it is about Billy Bretherton, but I will admit I have got something of a crush.  I have been watching the marathon of Billy the Exterminator on A&E today and have even watched some episodes I had already seen.  Thankfully I shared my little friend with my best friend and now we can be creepers together. LMBO.  True she lives further away and can't actually go with me if I decide that I would like to go to jail for stalking, but at least she can share bask in the wonderfulness of exterminating on television.  Funniest thing to me is that I don't really like "reality" shows and I think that this is classified as one. I wonder what my husband would think if I were to call VexCon and see if they can take care of my pest problem...problem is I need to find a pest first.   Hahaha. Well, I have to go now...I can hear Billy calling from the other room.

I am changing my name!!!

That is it!! I am changing my name to Mamie...you know the old servant on Gone with the Wind??? I figure it is appropriate since I keep being treated like the house servant...hell that is putting it mildly.  My kids are so freaking lazy it is pathetic....they lay around in the a/c watching tv, texting, and eating all the food.  They literally move from one couch to the other if someone "gets in their way", ie..over the weekend I was cleaning the floors in the living room so my 14 yr old turned the tv up louder and moved from one couch to the other because I got in front of the tv!! Did she offer to help me out?? NO!! The thought probably never even crosses her mind.  I have done my last load of laundry for that little freeloader!  I did her laundry and folded it and said all you have to do is hang the other stuff...it sat there until she wore all of it again!! I am fed up with all the laziness.  I was not allowed to just lay around.  I had chores and they darn well better get done without me having to be told to do them. 

Another thing, when I cook supper and call everyone to the table I do NOT want to hear I will be there when my show goes off.  Um no, come and eat it now.  This is not an all you can eat buffet, you don't get to come and go as you please.  Oh and it would be nice if you could at least rinse your plate, I won't dare go so far as to say wash some dishes...don't want to mess up your texting finger!!  Sometimes I hate the cell phone.  It is permanently affixed to her hand and earlier she thought I was trying to get her phone and freaked the hell out and snatched it back like I had tried to steal a kidney.  I forsee big bad trouble on the horizon and it is not going to go down in a way that she is going to like!!

Okay I am done....p.s...I love my kids, just don't like being treated like crap...where did they get this sense of entitlement? Like everything is owed to them??

now I remember

 I actually remembered to go to the track for my running "program".  I was even early. Go me!  There were about 20 other people there.  Some of them I knew, some of them actually spoke to me, and some of them tried to act like I didn't exist. Haha.  It may have something to do with the fact that I was wearing one of my husband's old t-shirts, it is extra comfy, has the sleeves cut out of it, and is a band t-shirt..oh, did I mention the band's name is Earth Orgy? lol. The looks I got were awesome, it was almost as if I showed up wearing nothing but a smile.  I did not do much smiling while I was at the track.  Not only were there people there acting like I was the devil or didn't exist, but there were teenagers there who pretty much were embarassed by all of the "old" fat adults.  We did some stretches before we started running.  Stretches that make me feel and look like a flailing elephant.  I remember why I don't run, not because I can't, but simply because I HATE running....I remembered about three laps in.  The thing is I can't quit, then I would be a quitter plus I paid money to do this crap! Maybe next time won't be as bad.  Oh and as a side note, my legs and buttocks were killing me by the time I got home, so maybe, just maybe, it will help me to lose my fatty status.

Epic Fail...

And so it begins...I lose.  My first day of my new running program and I FORGOT to go!! In my defense we got our pool set up and finally got to go swimming and I was so sooper stoked that time got away from me and oops I skipped first night of the program.  Lets hope I do better on the second night.

The journey begins...

well, actually I just wrote the check that pays for the journey, but it is essentially the same thing.  Starting next week I will be participating in a Couch to 5k program, hopefully it won't be as scary as it sounds.  I am not a runner, have never ran, and pretty much have always said, " The only way you will see me run is if someone or a snake is chasing me."  I don't even know if snakes chase people but that is neither here nor there.  I have decided that instead of complaining to my husband about the 30!! pounds I have gained in the last year and a half, I am going to do something about it.  I still say that I gained this weight from quitting smoking when we started dating and there are days that I have seriously contemplated smoking again just to see if I am right.  I am not ruling it out either.  I changed my eating habits, some days I barely even eat anything (yeah yeah I know it is bad for me) and I still don't lose weight.  OR I lose 5 lbs and gain back 6!!  It is really getting annoying.  I figure that a couple of things can happen with this running project...either I can lose some weight and get in great shape, I can stay a Fatty and people will laugh and call me names while I try to run, or I will die.  Hey, there are no guarantees...I am excited and scared at the same time.  I have found no one who will join the program with me, so I have no back up and no friend to chat with while there.  I am terrified that I am going to show up at the track the first night and there is going to be a group of super thin athletes in their super cute running clothes who are just waiting to point and laugh.  But they don't know that I have Robot Blood and I can take away all of their powers and give them to the Aliens....mwahahaha...at least that is what my friend Christopher told me, so what if he is only three, he thinks I am kinda cool.

book blogs..

I like them. sounds weird even to me. I love books and I guess I like to read what others thought about them too. lol.  It all started when an ex coworker of mine directed me to her book blog so that we could share ideas of what book to read next. :)  She references several different book blogs in her blog. Now I am always looking for book blogs.  I have a scrap piece of paper near the computer that I write book titles on to look for at the library.  I can't tell you how many books I am currently reading right now....I lost track.  I don't read reviews of books before I read them, I am afraid they will alter my opinion of the book.  I like to read them after to see if I feel the same way about the book and to leave my own feedback.  My husband mentioned me having my own book blog but I have a hard time verbalizing what I am thinking in my head which is why I am not a writer.  I know sadz. :(  Even the idea of blogging sounds so appealing to me, but then I get on here and I am hitting backspace more than I am typing for fear of someone running across this blog and thinking I sound like a complete moron. jeez!  I guess I am a big loser but not the biggest kind that gets to be on television. haha.

you have got to be kidding me...

Last night I found my husband's "list"...you know the list that you probably keep in your head and don't dare write down for fear of someone finding it?? It pissed me off!! Number one, why in the heck does he have the list IN our house where I could potentially run across it?? And number two, there are more people on the list than he told me about.  I guess I should be happy that my name is the last one on there, but I don't care about that.  What I care about is the fact that it exists.  Seriously, I don't think he would be happy if I were to write my list down and he stumbled across it. The thing is, it is written down in the back of an ADDRESS book...HELLO STUPID, you don't think I am ever going to open that thing??? I find it weird that he keeps the list to begin with and I would have thought that since we got married it should have been shredded or burned so that I would never have to see it and wonder why the **** it is still around.  It makes me wonder if it is still around so that he can have fond memories?? I have had to accept the fact that he has most of his exes on his friend's list on myspace and facebook (urgh) and he has most of their phone numbers in his cell phone still...NOW THIS!!!

blah

My husband asked me last night why I get so mad so fast and seemingly easily. I had no answer, I honestly don't know why. Some things I could care less about and then BAM something else happens and I go off. I guess I might have anger control issues, but I don't really think that I do, I let so many things go on over and over without saying a word when it really grates on my nerves. And if I have to hear about how he works so hard while I do nothing one more time I will probably explode!! I am sorry that I can not find a job, I am trying. I have been trying. How about appreciating the things I do at home for you and the kids? I know that he does a lot for our family and I appreciate it and show him that he is appreciated, is it that hard to do the same for me? He makes me feel worthless. It is not a feeling that I am fond of, it makes me super sad. Some days I don't even want to get out of bed. :(

D-Day

I just came to the realization that it is really only 3 days until I am getting married!! I am more than just a little nervous.  Not about the procedure...but about being married AGAIN.  Yeah yeah, I have been married sooo many times now that it shouldn't be a big deal right?? WRONG!!  That is exactly why I am nervous.  Each of the times I got married it seemed like a good idea and then some bad stuff went down and we got divorced.  I don't want that to happen again.  I think I am the problem.  Maybe I am not cut out for marriage? 



This time things will be different, haha like I haven't said that before.  I truly believe it this time though...he is different from the ex(es), I am different than I was before (which is the Biggest factor), everything is going to be perfect right?  Well I sincerely hope so because I refuse to go through another divorce, someone will have to die to get out of this marriage...that sounds a little grim, oh well...I know what I mean.  Peace. 
Will try to write again soon...like maybe after the honeymoon...if we don't get snowed in and have to live in Eureka Springs for the winter...lol